Dear Driver,
Dear Driver,

Dear Driver,

Yes, you. The one behind me, honk­ing because you want to turn right and can­’t because I’m in front of you. Please note: The traffic light one block ahead is red. There are many cars ahead of me and they are stopped. Because the traffic light is red. In order for you to turn right, I would have to pull for­ward and block this inter­sec­tion. That would be illeg­al. I am not going to do some­thing illeg­al merely to avoid incon­veni­en­cing you. You will simply have to take a deep breath and be patient for  the approx­im­ately 20 seconds it will take for the light to turn green and the traffic ahead of me to start mov­ing, cre­at­ing space for me to clear the intersection.

I recom­mend med­it­a­tion to help you deal with stress.

That, or single malt scotch. But wait until you get home. Which will require you to wait for the light to turn green.

Thank you.