Here’s a little rant over a big issue. ***warning: might contain bad words and anger***
I was talking to a woman in her 20s, who told me that while she was at work the other day a man of about 50 or 60 was telling her, among other things… that she’s very attractive. She referred to it as “a gross interaction.” I’ll say. And worse, she told me that it’s not unusual for this to happen.
Message to that man: What the fuck is wrong with you that you think that’s ok? That you somehow think it’s a compliment to tell a woman, a much younger woman, a total stranger, that she is attractive? Moreover she’s at WORK, and she can’t tell you off because she has to be “polite to the tourist.” You’ve now put her on edge and wrecked her day. Is that what you’re going for?
Especially older man to younger woman, but really ANY man to ANY woman who is a total stranger. It’s not a compliment, it’s fucking creepy. It’s messed up. It invades our space. We’ve been taught to just take it because it happens all the goddamned time, and it’s like a fucking hostage negotiation to figure out how to respond, lest we ignite some crazy reaction.
Look… Tell your partner she’s attractive, she’ll probably appreciate it. Anybody else? Shut up. You don’t have to voice every thought in your head. Put a bit of work into imagining how your words will ACTUALLY make someone feel.
Here’s the key: Lose the sense of entitlement that makes you think you’re allowed to say whatever you want to anybodyand we should be thankful for it.