Yup we are still having to deal with this
Yup we are still having to deal with this

Yup we are still having to deal with this

Here’s a little rant over a big issue. ***warn­ing: might con­tain bad words and anger***

I was talk­ing to a woman in her 20s, who told me that while she was at work the oth­er day a man of about 50 or 60 was telling her, among oth­er things… that she’s very attract­ive. She referred to it as “a gross inter­ac­tion.” I’ll say. And worse, she told me that it’s not unusu­al for this to happen.

Mes­sage to that man: What the fuck is wrong with you that you think that’s ok? That you some­how think it’s a com­pli­ment to tell a woman, a much young­er woman, a total stranger, that she is attract­ive? Moreover she’s at WORK, and she can­’t tell you off because she has to be “polite to the tour­ist.” You’ve now put her on edge and wrecked her day. Is that what you’re going for?

Espe­cially older man to young­er woman, but really ANY man to ANY woman who is a total stranger. It’s not a com­pli­ment, it’s fuck­ing creepy. It’s messed up. It invades our space. We’ve been taught to just take it because it hap­pens all the god­damned time, and it’s like a fuck­ing host­age nego­ti­ation to fig­ure out how to respond, lest we ignite some crazy reaction.

Look… Tell your part­ner she’s attract­ive, she’ll prob­ably appre­ci­ate it. Any­body else? Shut up. You don’t have to voice every thought in your head. Put a bit of work into ima­gin­ing how your words will ACTUALLY make someone feel.

Here’s the key: Lose the sense of enti­tle­ment that makes you think you’re allowed to say whatever you want to any­bodyand we should be thank­ful for it.