Whose nose did you blow?

Wow, I am hav­ing so much trouble com­ing up with an intro today. I’m feel­ing kind of wiped out, I guess. Then…

I watched my neigh­bour across the street bring two very large stuffed anim­als out of the house by the scruff of their necks, and toss them in the back of a van. I ima­gine there’s a story there.

Do you ever hear a ran­dom com­ment and won­der what the heck those people were talk­ing about? The Girl and I star­ted writ­ing those down. It began with a kids’ book at the doc­tor’s office, some­thing for kids to look at while they wait. This book was miss­ing a cov­er and when we opened it, it opened to the words: He put her in the wooden chest and waited for the bear. To this day we have no idea what that story was. We found it so funny we giggled for ages, and it’s become kind of a Thing. Then we star­ted pay­ing atten­tion to those kinds of com­ments out in pub­lic, and writ­ing them down. Like,

-Don’t catch your face

-Whose nose did you blow?

-I already have my hands full with the major lunatics

-So, was your head on the floor?

-Well, you can­’t put it in your hair unless it’s serious.

-She’s gonna have a nose.

-And my most recent favour­ite: Makes my life a whole lot easi­er than just rely­ing on bark.

Actu­ally that last one was­n’t heard ran­domly at all that was in a con­ver­sa­tion with the Girl, and I know what the con­text was, but it struck me that it would be hil­ari­ous if I had heard it out of con­text. And no, I’m not going to tell you what the con­text was. If you want, you can make up a little story about it!